Would you like to buy some advertising on ($name)?

I get all manner of emails from people and spambots asking if I want to participate in spammy link exchange scams or take up some 'paid link advertising opportunities'. Seldom have I seen as much incompetence in a single spammy email as in this one I received recently.

First of all, if you are going to send crappy marketing mail, try and get your names consistent.

Uh-huh, so you are George Nelson, using the email account belonging to Selby Wiggins, which names Claudia Schiffner in the actual address. R-iii-ght.

It got better...

($name)?

Can't you even populate your variables, George?

Or Selby, or Claudia, or whatever...